Understanding Relationships
I saw a study that showed that “relationships” and “money” account for many people’s problems.
Since both are said to account for about 40% each
That means that roughly half of the world’s problems are “relationships.
So, what exactly are relationships?
We have considered the effects that can be obtained from relationships.
- Influenced (taught something. Be inspired (get inspired.)
- Influencing (Tell me something. Stimulate.)
- Empathize (sympathize with something)
- antagonize (tell me something, inspire me)
These are considered the aggregate of relationships.
And from these, the relationships of “receiving and giving” influence of 1 and 2 are relationships that can be obtained not only with those who are alive, but also with those who have already passed away, and even with those who have not yet been born.
In comparison, with regard to “sympathizing” (3) and “antagonizing” (4), these would be relationships with people who are currently alive and in high relationship with us: family members, lovers, bosses, subordinates, colleagues, peers, classmates, or simply friends with whom we live together.
Our term “relationship problems” can only be applied to people who are alive and in close proximity to us (we need to see them regularly).
I would like to add here that “empathy” may come from the writings of those who have gone before us, but you may think you are empathizing with someone’s experience or feeling, saying “I understand”, but they are already dead and there is no mutual relationship that you understand, so you are not “feeling together”.
We believe that it belongs to “being affected by someone else’s feelings” rather than “feeling with” someone else.
We live in a world that is a blend of these four types of relationships.
For example, let’s say we find someone we can respect from our boss or superiors at work.
We empathize with that person, go out to dinner with them, and develop a relationship with themr,
You try to get a positive influence from them.
Or you post on a social networking site and get a “like” button while making an impact,and gain the fruits of empathy and approval.
We have all experienced the disappointment of not getting the fruits of these actions or the breakdown of a relationship.
In other words, it is common to find that someone you respected was disorganized in their personal life or was a surprisingly human piece of crap.
These joys and sorrows are probably one of the most troublesome aspects of relationships.
In this light, the people to respect and emulate are not those who are alive, but rather great men and philosophers who have already passed away,
It is much better to learn from those who are still alive and whose writings are still accessible today.
How many great people alive today will continue to be read or influence people hundreds of years from now?
Probably not even a hundred.
However, the number of great men and philosophers who have already passed away is considerable.
It is obvious that it is more effective to look for a respected person who fits you among the greats of the past than to look for 100 excellent people among the 8 billion people alive today.
Happiness of having someone to look up to
To have someone to look up to is to have a goal.
Just having such a person in the corner of your mind is a blessing.
And, as I have said many times before, it does not have to be a living person.
Because it is an instinctive reflex to be with someone who is alive.
No matter how wonderful a person is, when they are in front of you and breathing the same air, there will be things that don’t feel right, like a distortion of mutual attraction.
It’s more like enjoying an exchange with someone who is not of this world,
In a sense, it is like gazing at a flower blooming in the field or a star in the distance.
Reading the writings of our predecessors and greats, looking into their hearts and contemplating their thoughts.
This is one kind of dialogue.
There is more to be gained from this dialogue than from talking with a living person.
The person who is with me now says, “You explain too much to me when I don’t understand.” This over-explaining aspect applies to me as well.
No one but human beings can communicate with the dead, and no one but human beings can imagine and communicate with people in the future.
If there is a person who left us such a book and whom we can looking for respect person, we will be happy.
Of course, it is wonderful to have someone living today whom we can respect and admire nearby.
However, not everyone is so fortunate.
If you feel that there is no one you can respect at present, you should dialogue with and seek out the books of all deceased people.
And not just once, but read and dialogue with them over and over again as you grow.
I think it is very interesting to see how our perspectives and interpretations change over the course of several dialogues.
And tell it to those who have not yet been born.
As well as this, we have an instinctive desire to tell or influence someone about something.
This desire is intense; everyone wants to influence others.
This is the principle of wanting to obtain proof that one is alive, an idea that is also connected to existentialism (presentism).
The desire to “touch someone” is the desire to feel alive, and this is a primal instinct that even dogs and cats have.
The ability to easily obtain that desire is why social networking has spread so rapidly.
And the pain of not getting that desire is “neglect.
That suffering is intense pain because not being able to influence anyone means “not feeling alive.
When disciplining a dog, neglect is more effective than physical punishment.
This is because dogs are highly social animals, and to be left out is “suffering worthy of death.
This dilemma of wanting approval from the living sometimes leads people to self-destruction.
In other words, we are swept away by their expectations.
So it’s good to escape the giving and receiving of influences from the relationships we live in from time to time.
Writing a message imagining someone who has not yet been born, or conversing with the writings of a great person who has passed away, has the potential to escape the complex emotions of the modern world and cleanse the mind.
Perhaps this requires a daily discipline.
We are all lonely by nature. And we always want to be in contact with someone.
It seems to me that the reason for practicing monks to go deep into the mountains was to “escape from the giving and receiving of influences of human relationships.
Today, this would be the same as detoxing from the Internet.
It is funny that I write this on my blog, isn’t it?
