Organizing Relationships
There is no doubt that relationships are an important life factor.
The unicellular organism has two important selective organs, one of which is the organ of reaction to food.
This is the response to “money” when replaced by modern humans.
The other is a reaction organ that determines “friend or foe” when it encounters another organism.
In primitive times, there was the danger of predators, and even the same person could easily lead to a fight if from a different tribe.
In modern times, however, there are few simple life-or-death conflicts.
Instead, we judge whether someone is a friend or foe through conversation and other means, and consider how to interact with each other.
In this light, relationships are an important factor.
It is natural for people to become depressed because of their relationships.
But in our modern age, have we not spread our own pain by placing so much importance on relationships?
A hundred years ago, individuals could not survive if they insulated themselves from society.
Today, however, we can live without knowing our neighbors’ faces without any problems at all.
Humans are socially oriented by nature and seek to deepen without limit. This is why we use social networking sites to form unnecessary relationships.
This is like an obesity problem that has paralyzed the satiety nerve.
Modern relationships need to be put on a diet from time to time.
Isn’t that the key to a healthy life? I think this is the key to keep good mental and physical health.
What we have to keep in mind in our social lives is that if we say or do something that affects someone, we might hurt them.
As a strategy, we should send out our true feelings on social networking sites under a pseudonym, and in real life, where we have to act under our real names, we should do our best to avoid sending out our own messages, and should be moderate in our responses to someone’s opinions.
In other words, using both your real intentions and your polite manner is a way to live well in modern human relationships.
Don’t try to get people to understand.
If we think of human relationships as “confirmation of survival” and “confirmation of friend or foe,” then any conversation is not that meaningful.
It is like skinship through words.
If you are caressing someone and suddenly pinch them, they will get angry.
If you think of conversation as off-road driving, the important thing is not to deviate from the course and not to cause an accident.
The most important thing to keep in mind when conversing with the other person is the change in each other’s emotions.
We need to respond and adjust well with exquisite handling and a luxurious, smooth suspension.
What we have to be careful about in our relationships is that we may unknowingly think, “I want you to understand me.” unconsciously.
The feeling of “wanting to be understood” means “exposing self inner nature.
In other words, we never know when our instincts will be exposed.
If you imagine words as a naked, running, defenseless creature, they can be very threatening to the other person.
That “word” is in danger of being interpreted in a different state than you intend, and is sometimes the target of counterattacks.
This is why words are seen as violence.
So, the words that come out of our mouths, or the words that we speak in a spontaneous way to make others understand us…
There is a danger that they will overflow with emotions that we cannot control.
We need to put formal clothes on our words and train ourselves in proper manners.
To do this, we must first be good listeners.
We are unconsciously talking like in a boxing match.
We are jabbing at each other to get a pause.
To avoid this, we should approach the conversation with a Zen-like mindset, not in a fighting pose.
all alone in after all
In order not to demand empathy from others, it is essential to know from the bottom of one’s heart that “we are all alone in after all.”
In other words, do not expect too much from others or yourself.
All people are born alone and die alone.
Again, “we are all alone in after all.”
Keep this in mind.
This may sound like a blunt statement, but it is the truth.
That is why others are also alone.
Everyone is lonely.
We want to escape that loneliness, we want others to sympathize with us, we want to forget our loneliness, and we want to be recognized for our existence.
Therefore, to recognize that you are “all alone in after all” is to pay respect to others.
Moreover, looking at yourself as “all alone in after all” is like observing the end of the universe from its beginning to its end.
Once you realize this, being alone is surprisingly interesting.
