Real intention and hidden motives
We are educated in “social skills” at an early stage.
From the time we are born, we cannot live alone.
First, we are taught rules in the small framework of the family, then we are taught general education and common sense in kindergartens and schools.
This education is not wrong, because we have to follow the rules as long as we are involved in society and live.
Therefore, this education is a “social education,” or what might be called a “tatemae education,” which emphasizes socially accepted norms.
The opposite of “tatemae” education is “honest” education, or practical education, and I think it is necessary to learn both of them and use them well.
However, there is no place to learn this “honest education,” and it is a very rare education that can only be learned by a limited number of families or those who are lucky enough to have a relationship with someone who can teach it to them.
Those who are not exposed to this “honest” education are forced to live in the jungle of today’s society with only “tatemae” education, making it a very difficult world to live in.
The reason why it is so hard to live is that if you live your life with only a “tatemae” education, you run the risk of becoming a weakling in a society where “honesty is foolishness”.
Then, what about living a life with only “honest education”?
This is also a hard life, and a checkered “life in flames,” that is, a life of being hung up on by many people.
After all, “true feelings” represent our inner truths, desires, and passions, our so-called naked and unprotected state.
Walking around naked is against the law, so we need a “front.
In other words, we must put on clothes.
Excellent Tatemae Education in Japan
Tatemae education is the process of learning how to behave in accordance with social norms and expectations, and is intended to help students acquire appropriate behavior, manners, and general common sense in public settings.
Considering this, it can be said that Japan has the most excellent “tatemae education” in the world.
Even in times of disaster, the Japanese national character of maintaining order and meekly standing in line is highly regarded around the world.
This is undeniably a result of the “tatemae education” that has permeated the country.
Thus, tatemae education is necessary to function smoothly as a member of society, to avoid conflict in interactions with others, and to coexist in harmony.
However, if this education is overemphasized, an individual’s true feelings and self-expression may be suppressed, and the ego may be sacrificed in order to maintain the superficial harmony of society.
Of course, social and political forces cannot negate a tatemae education.
This is because it helps to maintain order and form a safe society.
In a country like Japan, which is formed by a single ethnic group, this tatemae education is efficient.
While it can uniformly share social conventions and common sense and reinforce stereotypes, it can also limit diversity and individual freedom.
One of the results of tatemae education from an early age in Japan, even in the home, is the negative effects of not being able to find things to love or hobbies, but on the other hand, it also has the power to create a unique culture of manga, anime, special effects, etc., as a reaction to this monolithic society.
We Japanese are actually quite novel and fanciful at the root, although we are not so conspicuous.
So perhaps many of us are disgusted by the “tatemae society.
Self-inquiry is a search for true feelings
Social education gives you “social order”.
It does not take your desires seriously and face them.
Rather, it imposes the ideas of society on you.
Even your parents impose their “parental wishes” on their children.
Therefore, you have to find your own “real” education.
The purpose of true intention education is to develop the ability to make decisions based on one’s own values and beliefs.
Therefore, you must discover your true feelings.
One’s true feelings are the foundation for self-realization and self-expression.
The skills acquired through “social education (Tatemae Kyoiku)” are for interpersonal relationships, while the skills acquired through “Honest education (Honne Kyoiku)” enable you to live freely and autonomously in your own unique way.
Many successful people, such as Eron Musk and Takafumi Horie, push their true intentions to the fullest.
They may push them too far and become antisocial and even get arrested, but they seem to live powerfully, with no hesitation in their goals and actions.
Finding the balance between the social(tatemae) and the honest(honne) and integrating the two well is the key for us to live our lives as we are in our society.
By sincerely looking inside ourselves and deepening our self-understanding, we can navigate freely between social and honest, opening the way to self-realization.
